When the lock-down was enforced back in late March due to Covid-19, it offered me an opportunity to take stock – not just personally but also professionally and in my business.

Clients gradually started getting in touch needing additional support and this got me thinking even more. I started to recall my sessions over the recent years and whilst my primary focus had been working with people to heal or manage their relationships with others in whatever sphere of their life, what I came to realise was, the issues in their relationships were a symptom of something deeper.

This was when I decided to pivot and focus my attention on coaching in the mental and emotional wellbeing space. You see, in all of my sessions, this factor has always been the underlying work, once my client’s mental and emotional welling was taken carer of, it filtered into their relationships, like the ripple effect.

All too often I have worked with clients who have terrible emotional pain, which they have been covering up, managing, suppressing, and coping with for years, not even realising this is the case. You see, most of this emotional pain has come from their younger years, the beliefs they picked up in those informative years, when their minds were literally like sponges, absorbing everything.

These beliefs were held as truths, shaping, and guiding every decision they made all the way into adulthood. The very sad part is, many have no idea that these programs have them doing exactly what they do not want to be doing – unable to explain why they think, feel or act in a particular way. I too have experienced hurts from the past and had no idea of the impact. I thought my experiences were normal, that every young person experienced the things I did until I did the healing work.

You see, the beliefs we carry impact every area of our life whether we want to believe it or not. All too often we look externally to ourselves to see what is causing us pain or making us feel uncomfortable, but really it is all within us, we have the answers. I mention this now because on reflection, calling myself a relationship coach is probably an injustice to the work my clients actually did, the inner work, the work on Self, the relationship with others was just a by-product of this, it was an indicator of how much work had been accomplished.

If you are experiencing challenges in any of your relationships, maybe you’re not showing up as you would like, or the other person is not fulfilling your needs, take a moment to pause, do you have any outdated beliefs or programs running which are holding you back?